Best of the Steven Seagal Movie Titles

Another classic Ace of Spades thread, circa 1988. Or thereabouts. The contest: come up with the best Steven Seagal Movie Title. My favorites?

Steven Seagal is... Mounting Keith Olbermann

Steven Seagal is... Straining the Girdle

Steven Seagal is... Eating for Two

Steven Seagal is... Rightsizing His Fame

Steven Seagal is... Pinching a Loaf

Steven Seagal is... Getting Real Pissed

Steven Seagal is... On the Rag

Steven Seagal is... Hiding The Gerbil

Steven Seagal is... Shocking the Monkey

Steven Seagal is... Up 'Till Eleven

Steven Seagal is... Driving His Sentra

Steven Seagal is... Pretending He's Twins

Steven Seagal is... Killing For Peace

Steven Seagal is... Shaving my Pooter

Steven Seagal is... Porky Le Bang-Bang

Steven Seagal is... Coding in FORTRAN

Steven Seagal is... Throatwobbler Mangrove

Steven Seagal is... Munching on Frito's

Steven Seagal is... Fighting the Sun

Steven Seagal is... In Time Out

Steven Seagal is... The Ponytail Identity
Steven Seagal is... Against All Ponytails
Steven Seagal is... Fistful Of Ponytails
Steven Seagal is... Ponytail Of Desire
Steven Seagal is... Paths Of Ponytails
Steven Seagal is... The Ponytail Mutiny
Steven Seagal is... Full Metal Ponytail

Steven Seagal is... Not full Yet
Steven Seagal is... Back For Thirds

Steven Seagal is... Easier to Kill

Steven Seagal is... Pirating Pay Cable
Steven Seagal is... Licking Green Stamps
Steven Seagal is... Sniffing Gas Tanks

Steven Seagal is... Doing 63 in a 55
Steven Seagal is... Sweatin' To Oldies
Steven Seagal is... On Hold With His Agent

Steven Seagal is... Out of quarters

Steven Seagal is... Silent But Deadly

Steven Seagal is... Priced To Move

Steven Seagal is... Rubbing One Out

Steven Seagal is... Breaking A Hip

Steven Seagal is... Learning to Run

Steven Seagal is... Hard to Clothe

I got nothin' left.

Later:

Steven Seagal is... Out of Breath

Steven Seagal is... Scheduling a Colonoscopy

Steven Seagal is... Where Mullets Dare
Steven Seagal is... Valley of the Mullets
Steven Seagal is... Raging Mullet
Steven Seagal is... David Mulletfield
Steven Seagal is... The Mulletfather
Steven Seagal is... One Flew Over the Mullet's Nest
Steven Seagal is... Cool Hand Mullet